Saturday, October 25, 2014

The First Three Simple Things A Single Woman Must Know About A Man - #1


His Full Name

As crazy as this may sound and just as ludicrous to mention, everyday women are perfectly comfortable in just learning a man's first name (or just the name that he gives her). By the end of the week, the man has been in her home, around her family and children, eaten her food, helped himself to anything in the house from the refrigerator to command control of the TV remote, and has become the self-proclaimed king in her bedroom.
Then in the next few days, when he ignores her calls and she puts someone up to call to see if he answers, she finds herself devastated - wondering what happened.
The answer to what happened is that he quickly summed it up that she had no self-respect since she gave up her body so quickly and all he had to do was smile.  The least that a woman must do is obtain a man’s full legal name.

If a man hesitates one second to give his full name, then that is the first red flag and really the only flag needed for a woman to keep it moving.  There should be no reason why a grown man must think about giving out his whole name. 
Any man who is afraid to give his last name has something to hide.  If he is so-called cautious to sharing his full name to someone he has just met, then he has no business stepping up to an attractive, intelligent, lovely, classy, drama-free woman.  It does not matter whatever reason he gives in not sharing his last name. There are no second chances for a man to tell a woman his full name.
Now on the other hand, a woman should not feel obligated to give out her full name because she does not know the man from Adam.  Anyone’s full name is easily searchable on today's Internet.  By giving out your name, this is all "Jack" needs to begin digging.  “Jack” can now pull up where you live, pull up your family members' names, download family photos, and gather all kind of info about where you work from your social media sites, public court documents, etc.
If the man has a problem with you not sharing with him your last name, then that is the first sign of disrespect because he is not respecting your philosophy about not giving out your last name to just anyone who asks. 

In today’s times, you must be careful when going out.  If a man asks you for your phone number or name, it is not necessary to be flippant when you do not wish to be bothered.  Politely turn down his advances and do not give him a wrong phone number to make him go away.  

Unfortunately, there are reported cases where women have lost their lives turning down a man’s advances.

If a man shares only a nickname or street name -- that's not acceptable.  The name that you want is the name on his birth certificate, driver's license, or state ID.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


If You Don't Know This, You Don't Know Jack by Tonya Nicol Davis
If you are a woman who is single and dating or a woman who is already married and settled, this book opens the door to a discovery in areas about the man in your life that you may not have known before.

Learn more about:

*What to do, what to have, and what to look for to be in a healthy, loving, and happy relationship 
*How to save precious time from living in drama and disappointment while dating or in a committed relationship 
*What a single woman needs to know about any man whom she is introducing into her life and into the lives of her family 
*Aspects a married woman can explore to learn more about the man to whom she has committed to be in her life

This book contains adult/mature subject matter.

Available at CreateSpace - an Amazon Company





Saturday, October 18, 2014

No 'Sweetie' on Sweetest Day



A couple of weeks ago, a childhood friend (let’s call her Denise) and I met with another childhood friend (let’s call her Mariah).  We hadn’t seen each other in about four years.  After we talked for about ten minutes, Mariah broke out of nowhere, on the other side of the universe from what we were talking about and said, “And Tonya, I want you to find somebody.  You deserve somebody nice in your life.


First, I was like, Is there a sign on my forehead that says ‘SINGLE’ or worse yet, does it say ‘LONELY’? Then, I almost felt insulted that Mariah would assume that I wasn’t with anybody and we hadn’t exchanged a word in four years.



Then I came back to the present thinking I am probably the happiest single woman in the world.  I cannot remember the last time a tear dropped from my eye because of a relationship. 



Now as friends, friends know each other’s intimate drama stories and they don’t forget those stories.  Sometimes they especially think about those stories when they see their friend is still with a particular person.  I thought about those stories that day.  Although, it is a new day now in everybody’s lives especially after silly stuff happens when first starting out - however, history is history.  I walked away from that conversation settled on that folk make their own decisions on what is worth going through to get somewhere and as long as I knew the truth about me and my journey, poo on anybody else’s opinion about my life.



~~~



But, I’ll tell you a secret.



I was in church several years ago and I heard a preacher say that if a person is single, they are single for the moment so that they can concentrate on what they are called to do.  That wasn’t the first time I heard that message.  I used to take that message as one of those lines like money is the root of all evil – except it is scripture that the love of money is the root of all evil and the incorrect quote that just money is the root of all evil is what folks who don’t have money say to make themselves feel better. 



But, I just happened to be paying attention when he said that ‘you are single so you can concentrate’ message that particular day.   I slowly began doing just that.



When my second husband left (and by the way I left the first one), I rearranged my bedroom, changed the locks, called his mother to bring him over to get his car (since he was driving his company van) so I could get the garage lock changed too, and then went out and started showing houses all before going to bed.  When he was packing up, I was helping him.  That’s just how done I was.  You hear me? 



Anyway, since then I made it up in my mind that I was going to do and live out all the dreams I always had without somebody hounding me about why I was doing this and that – like going to school to obtain a professional license.  I was going to pursue that childhood dream of a career in radio, return to acting, write books, return to composing music tracks and songwriting, finish raising my kids in a calm and quiet environment…just plain handle my business.



Someone once told me that I was busy because I didn’t have a man.  They were right and then they were wrong.  They meant I didn’t have anything to keep me company so I just buried myself into activities. That was wrong. 



What was right was that I was liberated to pursue happiness.



~~



Am I a bitter lonely woman?  Child, please.  Bye, Felicia.



Do I date?  Yep. 



Do I like men?  That’s like asking fish do they like water.   (wink)



But ask me if I have time for nonsense.    No the hell I don’t.



One of the reasons why I wrote “If You Don’t Know This, YouDon’t Know Jack”, is there is always the push for a woman to have a man and if a woman does not have a man, then something is supposedly wrong with her.



There are many dysfunctional or broken households because a relationship was formed between two people who got together for superficial or material reasons and not as two people bonding in agreement with how they will grow together and handle their business.  How a woman connects with a man who is on the same page as she is by taking the time to really getting to know him – but she got to be in the right book to even get to the right page.



On this Sweetest Day (actually a day that I forgot all about it until somebody texted me), I am single with a bunch of sweeties -- my children, grandbaby, family, and good friends.



Every day is the Sweetest Day.



tnd





Luv ya, “Mariah” and “Denise”. :)







Friday, October 17, 2014

What A Woman Should Know About A Man on Lady Intelligence Live!

Join Lady Intelligence Live! Host, Tonya Nicol Davis as she talks about her new book, "If You Don't Know This, You Don't Know Jack - What A Woman Should Know About A Man."

Tonya will go inside to share more about the Lady Intelligence Get To Know Him Better Awareness Campaign and how her new book helps to spread that message.

With so much hype on what a woman should do to get a man, the importance is what a woman should know about a man - especially the man who she has introduced into her life and into the lives of her family.

Tune in to Lady Intelligence Live! on Saturday, November 8 at 10:00 AM EST.


http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ladyintelligencelive/2014/11/08/what-a-woman-should-know-about-a-man




For more information about the book "If You Don't Know This, You Don't Know Jack", visit:




Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Press Release: Lady Intelligence, Ltd. Releases "If You Don't Know This, You Don't Know Jack - What A Woman Should Know About A Man"


Lady Intelligence, LTD.
PO BOX 24815
Phone (216) 223-8310
E-mail tonyanicoldavis@gmail.com

Press Release
Contact: Tonya Davis
Phone: (216) 223-8310
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
11:59 PM EST, October 15, 2014

LADY INTELLIGENCE, LTD. RELEASES
“IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK – WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT A MAN”
WRITTEN BY AUTHOR TONYA NICOL DAVIS


LYNDHURST, Ohio – Lady Intelligence, Ltd. releases the paperback publication, “IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS,YOU DON’T KNOW JACK – WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT A MAN,” written by TONYA NICOL DAVIS and now available via www.ladyintelligence.com.

The 116 page publication, distributed through various retail channels including CreateSpace, an Amazon company, as well as Amazon.com, is based on the Lady Intelligence, Ltd. “Get To Know Him Better” awareness campaign that began in April 2013. This particular awareness program is for females of all ages who entertain a romantic and/or physical relationship with a male.

The mission of the “Get To Know Him Better” awareness campaign is not only to stomp out unplanned pregnancies, but also to minimize the number of single-parent households, to reduce the poverty rate by encouraging abstinence until financially, mentally, and emotionally able to bring a child into the world, as well as to eliminate the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, domestic abuse, and violence amongst women and their children, families, and friends by someone they were just merely dating or their significant other.

“IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” is written for women who are single and dating as well as for women who may already be married and settled to open the door to a discovery about aspects revolving around the man in their life where they may have not known before.

Readers will learn more about:

  • What to do, what to have, and what to look for to be in a healthy, loving, and happy relationship
  • How to save precious time and minimize the possibility of drama and disappointment while dating or in a committed relationship
  • What a single woman needs to know about any man whom she is introducing into her life and into the lives of her family
  • Aspects a married woman can explore to learn more about the man to whom she has committed to be in her life

“IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” contains some adult/mature references, however, the content is suitable for adolescent females whose parents or guardians are concerned about their children’s physical behaviors or curiosity that could lead to detrimental repercussions.

TONYA NICOL DAVIS wrote “IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” because she believes the dilemma that many women experience when it comes to cultivating relationships is that the media continually presents that a woman needs to do certain things or needs to transform or conform herself to either be “picked” or “selected” by a man, to appear “attractive” to a man, or to “lure” a man into her life.  The problem with that message is that there is no emphasis on compatibility.  The message that “if you want a man, you must do this or be that” is for a woman to get just any man – so long as one could say that she has a man in her life.

Another concern that TONYA NICOL DAVIS identifies in “IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” is that a woman who has thoroughly addressed two core areas redirects her focus to the characteristics that a man must possess to be in her life - versus the type of so-called characteristics that a woman “supposedly” should have to draw a man to her and keep him in her life.

TONYA NICOL DAVIS possesses over 27 years of experience in the industries of health care, social service, corporate training and development, human resources, personal financial management, insurance, consumer retail, and real estate.

TONYA NICOL DAVIS enjoys spending time with her family, traveling, and creating empowerment avenues for women. TONYA NICOL DAVIS is an accomplished musician, composer, vocalist, voice-over artist, and stage and film actor.

For interviews, speaking engagements, business or promotional use purchases, and/or special sales of “IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK”, please contact TONYA NICOL DAVIS at 216.223.8310, tonyanicoldavis@gmail.com, or visit www.ladyintelligence.com.

LADY INTELLIGENCE, LTD. is a growing Book and Music Publishing Voice Media and Visual Solutions limited liability company with the mission to engage women into conscious thought about men and money by bringing generational behaviors to the forefront that play out in their current relationships. LADY INTELLIGENCE is a social media platform for healthy dialogue among women to learn from each other resulting in a current lifestyle and legacy of prosperity, abundance, and love. 


###

Click HERE to Order Copy


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I'm Right With You About Not Being Labeled an African-American, Raven-Symone








I haven't tracked the hype on it because folks can sho nuff hype about different things, but apparently it is news that Raven-Symoné said that she did not consider herself an African-American, but as an American on a recently aired "Where Are They Now?" episode on the OWN Network.

Raven-Symoné was just saying that she did not like being a label.

I still regard the term African-American as pretty new as I clearly remember when they started using that term.  I also remember how I hated that term because of the automatic assumption that because my skin is dark, I am supposed to be an African-American.

Every time I heard the word mentioned in the media, I would cringe.

About a decade ago, a supervisor and I were talking about Christmas holidays and he asked me if I were going to celebrate Kwanzaa.  I said, "Man, I don't know anything about Kwanzaa.  That is a tradition that was brought here in the 60s."  Then I broke and said, "And don't call me an African-American either.  That's just the term to be politically correct for the day."  He told me that he went home and told his wife, "No matter what you do, don't ask Tonya about Kwanzaa or say African-American."  Apparently, it was a wake up call that all Blacks do not celebrate Kwanzaa and that all Blacks do not accept the word African-American.

Like Raven-Symoné noted that her roots were in Louisiana, I don't know how my family arrived to Cleveland, Ohio before the 1900's.  My folk could be Haitian, Jamaican, Trinidadian, New Guinea, etc.  And yes.  Even with that there is a link back to Africa, but bottom line..... TODAY.....I don't know it and I don't try to claim what I don't know. 

What really makes me HATE the word African-American is it's a catchall to classify a group of people because of their skin color. My hatred for that term has nothing to do about Africa except for the fact, I don't know jack about Africa and I'm not about to begin studying Africa or embracing Africa like I am "supposed to” or “expected to” because I am of color.    Of course, history research is always on the menu and where it is personally important to my children and me, it is an appetizer. My main course, however, is about what I can do today and my dessert is about how what I do today will impact tomorrow.


~~

I remember when I was just a child, we were Negroes (so it says on the birth certificate), and then I recall the term Black.  Whew.  My father hated it when I used the word Black and told me to use the word Colored. It was almost a punishable offense to use the word Black in our household.  So probably then for him, when the tide turned when folks started using Black, that was like African-American to him.  I liked using the word Black because it had a strong definition to it.  Solid.  Black is Beautiful.  Powerful.  Pride.  As a child, I always pictured red, green, and yellow when I heard the term Colored. I didn’t like the word Negro because it was too close to the word nigger - a word heard repeatedly from speeding passersby while walking home from school.

Then it went to Afro-American.  I could never understand that.  What the hell a hairstyle term got to do to classify a group of Black folk – so I thought as a youngster.  Then the classification got cute and landed on African-American - to my assumption to be respectful or something.  This is how I remember the chain of labels evolving.

But why we got to be anything?  When will we ever get to the point we are just a race of humans?

I rebelled against forms requesting racial demographics.  I would cross out the word African or just write in the word Black for Other.

Anyway, I hope Black folk ain't gonna be all up in arms saying that Raven-Symoné is turning her back on her 'race' because she said she is not African-American.

Pause…..

okay…..

gonna keep moving…..

I think I may have let the term African-American slip somewhere, here or there, in prose.  I quietly backed down about my stand on being labeled. Part of it is I began to choose my battles.

Another reason is I know who I am and labeled myself.

Posted by:



A Child of God who lives in the United States of America.






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