Saturday, September 15, 2012

Listening To What They Say and To Yourself

I watched the interview with Oprah, Jennifer Hudson, and her sister, Julia, the other day.  During this interview, Julia noted that she couldn’t understand why Jennifer wouldn’t get angry with her for what happened to their mother and brother, as well as Julia’s son…Jennifer’s nephew.
Julia’s husband killed them.

The backstory is Jennifer had a bad vibe about her then future brother-in-law since childhood and shared her concern to her sister.  Also uncovered in the interview, Julia’s husband told her that if she left him (or tried to leave him…one of ‘em) he would kill all of her family first and then save her for last.  Oprah asked Julia if she believed him and she replied that she didn’t.

I’m trying to figure out if somebody had the audacity to say to someone they will kill the family and save them to kill last, how is that unbelievable?  Then he had a chronological plan.  He done gave it thought.  That didn’t just come off the top of his head. 

Sadly, he carried out his plan after giving full warning. 

The first moral in this story:  Believe what a person tells you when it comes to doing harm. 

This is usually called a threat. According to the Apple dictionary, a threat is:
1 a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done: members of her family have received death threats.
• Law a menace of bodily harm, such as may restrain a person's freedom of action.
2 a person or thing likely to cause damage or danger…
• [in sing. ] the possibility of trouble, danger, or ruin…
Now that was Julia’s husband up and down.

The second moral in the story:  Listen to what a person tells you about somebody not being right.

There is something about human nature where someone who is close to the situation is farsighted yet everybody around him or her sees the situation clearly.  If Jennifer were at the house, she would have been gone too.  Fortunately, she wasn’t a part of that plan and was spared from what she had discerned as a child.

Jennifer told her sister not to marry him.  How many people have been told by those close to them to leave somebody alone and when they didn’t, something terrible happened? 

Other than being too close to a situation and caught up in the fantasy of love, it can just be the case of selective blindness, deafness, and dumbness.    

But more probable, it’s a case of low self-esteem.  Without high self-esteem, there is no internal protector and no confidence or belief to deserve good or better.

Women who are or have been in an abusive situation – whether emotional, physical, or mental – were raised to be abused.   It starts from home. 

There’s another story to how Jennifer’s sister wound up married to a man that would take the life of her mother, brother, and son.  People don’t usually wake up one day to become a murderer and people who don’t take crap off of anybody wind up one day taking crap from somebody. 

In Big Girl Little Girl, a chapter talks about raising children to be victorious or raising them to be a victim.  It’s interesting how one sister wound up with a murderous husband and the other sister wound up being an Oscar award winning international sensation.  How did one sister allow a substandard relationship dwell in her life and how did the other sister stood steadfast on her dream to stardom and a healthy relationship?

The third moral in this story is:  Know what you want and what you don’t want and stick to it. 
Another chapter in Big Girl Little Girl, “Your Goal Is Your Number One Priority,” talks about developing goals early in life.  Someone with a concentrated focus on a goal or a series of goals is less likely to make choices that will derail them off track including cultivating relationships with anyone who has contrasting lifestyles.

In the interview, Jennifer mentioned that she always wanted to be a singer.  Don’t remember any mention of Julia’s aspirations…just only that she didn’t listen to her sister who was in the sixth grade when she told her to leave a certain boy alone.


© 2012 www.ladyintelligence.com
Nicol of Lady Intelligence, Ltd.
2012-09-15  8:47 PM

Repost on www.ladyintelligence-theblog.blogspot.com